Grandparents / Other Family Members

Why Are Grandparents important

Research tells that strong grandparent/grandchild relationships are good for the emotional health of children- and possibly even more so at a time when their parents are separating and they need a listening ear and as much stability as possible.

Unfortunately though, grandparents can often be caught up in the conflict around divorce and separation. Sometimes this happens because they take sides, but often they are innocent bystanders caught up in the conflict and powerless to help.

Losing contact with grandparents is another loss for the children at a time when their world is changing

Research

We have recently participated in research carried out by the University of Essex jointly with the University of Birmingham.

Some of their initial findings tell us:

• Grandparents are often not aware of their options and have no idea what to do about the situation *Those who do find their way to court often have high expectations but feel severely let down by the court process *They are put off by high legal costs, unpredictable outcomes and the emotional distress caused by taking an adversarial approach
  *Grandparents also feel that the court process does not listen to children enough *They feel that mediation may offer more optimistic prospects of rebuilding trust and relationships

What can be done?

Legally, grandparents can pursue contact through the courts but they do not have automatic rights to contact,or even to apply for a court order! If grandparents wish to make an application to the court, they must seek the court’s permission first - but this will usually be given unless there are issues of risk. Legal advice is available but it will not be free.

Other sources of help are available in the form of support groups ( usually grandparents who have faced similar problems ) and they can be a good starting point.

How mediation can help

It is, undoubtedly, the best outcome for the child if the adults involved can resolve their differences in a way that allows the parent/ grandparent relationship to continue as well as restoring contact with the child.

Prime Resolution mediators are experienced in working with intergenerational conflict between parents and grandparents and understand many of the issues that you will face.

Our focus, as always, is on the needs of the child. We encourage all of the adults involved to put the child and their needs at the heart of their discussions.

If both parents agree, we also give the children a voice in the process (See Child Inclusive Mediation).

Where to Start?

The requirement to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting ( MIAM) which applies to anyone intending to make an application to court, also applies to grandparents. So attendance at a MIAM is a good starting point.

Attendance at a MIAM is automatically available and can even be publicly funded if you are financially eligible.

At the MIAM we can give you more information about court processes, explore the possibility of coming to an agreement without going to court and signpost you to legal advice and other sources of help.

You should attend before seeking permission from the courts to apply for an order.